Navigating the Learning Space: Writing, Rejection, and Resilience
I’ve told a few people about my current WIP, and the response is usually the same:
"Wow, that’s awesome."
"I can’t wait to read it."
"You need to finish this book!"
While I appreciate their enthusiasm, I can’t help but feel the pressure creeping in.
Now, it has to be good. I have to get this done.
And then the doubt sets in—What if the book doesn’t measure up?
I think these worries largely have to do with expectations.
We expect every writing session to go smoothly.
We expect progress to look the same each time.
We expect others to respond the way we hope they will.
Expectations rob us of joy in writing.
But the reality? Writing, like life, is unpredictable. Some days the words flow effortlessly. Other days, they don’t. Some opportunities open doors. Others leave us waiting in silence.
You often hear me share about my speaking engagements, collaborations, and podcast interviews. But what you don’t hear as often are the rejections, the dismissals, and the silence.
I’ll never fully understand why it’s so hard for people to simply say, "Thanks, but no thanks." Instead, I’m left in the abyss of not knowing.
And that not knowing starts to chip away at my confidence.
Learning to Sit in the "Not Knowing"
Last year I sent my book proposal to a publisher who specifically asked for it—someone who made a big deal about receiving it from me. I followed up. And then... silence.
A few months ago, I submitted a speaking proposal to a conference I was sure I was a perfect fit for (first mistake, I know). Again, silence. And I watched as others—people in my circle—were invited to speak while I was ghosted.
But then I’m reminded of something I wrote last month (and wow, did I need to hear my own words again):
"Why do you want what’s not meant for you?"
That question keeps me moving forward. But it doesn’t make the waiting easier. It doesn’t ease the frustration of not knowing why.
I watched a video lecture where Dr. Becky explored the difference between knowing, not knowing, and the space in between. And suddenly, it all made sense. Here is a graphic that explains this idea further.
So, this learning space includes:
Not knowing how our book will turn out.
Not knowing if a publisher or agent will pick it up.
Not knowing why a door remained closed.
If we remain stuck in frustration, it can fuel doubt and insecurity while diminishing our resilience.
But here’s the good news—frustration tolerance can be built. And growing in resilience is necessary for us as writers and creatives.
Here are two ways I think we can do this as writers and creatives.
#1 The Power of Compartmentalization
One of my favorite words. And one of the most practical ways to navigate the creative process without drowning in self-doubt.
Instead of seeing every writing session as needing to be productive, assign it a purpose:
🖊️ Exploration Mode – Brainstorm, free-write, or sketch ideas with no pressure.
✍️ Refinement Mode – Edit, revise, or structure your work.
🎨 Play Mode – Experiment with new styles or techniques.
🙏 Spiritual Check-In – Pray, journal, or reflect on how God is moving in your creativity.
When you compartmentalize your sessions, you stop comparing them. Yesterday’s Exploration Mode might have been full of inspiration, while today’s Refinement Mode feels tedious. That’s okay.
This same principle applies to how we handle rejection and silence.
Just because a publisher didn’t respond doesn’t mean my book isn’t valuable.
Just because I wasn’t chosen for that conference doesn’t mean I’m not a good speaker.
Just because …..(add your own statement here)
Each opportunity is its own moment. Each project stands on its own. Each creative session is a fresh start.
#2 Viewing Creativity as Worship
I’ve been reflecting on this a lot lately.
When we view creativity as an act of worship and obedience, we release the pressure to compare today’s progress to yesterday’s.
You wouldn’t judge your Sunday worship based on whether it was better than last week’s. You simply show up, engage with God, and receive what He has for you in that moment.
The same is true for creativity.
One day, writing might feel effortless, like inspiration pouring onto the page. The next, it might feel like pulling teeth. But both are offerings. Both count.
Worship isn’t measured by productivity—it’s measured by faithfulness.
If the words “worship” or “obedience” feel heavy, try a different perspective: Creativity is an invitation and a response.
Instead of “I have to finish this book out of duty,” shift to “God is inviting me into this moment—what do I want to discover with Him today?”
Instead of “I have to create something meaningful,” ask, “How can I respond to what God is already stirring in my heart?”
This shift makes space for joy, curiosity, and trust—allowing us to sit in the learning space without frustration.
By redirecting our focus from uncertainty to confidence in Christ, we move from frustration to faith. We don’t have to know everything—we just have to trust the One who does.
And if you are having a hard time leaning into that Holy confidence, let me know—I’d be honored to help you work through some of that!
If All Else Fails…
If you’re having a “does this even really matter?” kind of day, it might help to just revisit your story and your journey to where you are now.
That’s exactly what happened as I listened to the podcast I recorded for A Cup of Gratitude. My response to hearing my life story—from childhood to adulthood and my proclamation of God’s goodness throughout my life—left me on my knees, face-down in awe of God (ugly cry and all).
It’s funny how we tend to focus on the opportunities we don’t have instead of the ones we do have. While I could dwell on the people who ignored or rejected me, I can also choose to focus on the opportunities God has given me.
Even in those times of rejection and silence, we can look back to the stones we’ve set up—markers of God’s faithfulness that remind us we are still learning, still growing, and still being shaped by His grace.
It all comes back to embracing where you are right now, dear friend. Trust that you are building resiliency in the meantime.
Reflection Questions
Take a moment to reflect on where you are in your own journey:
What stones of remembrance have you set up in your life? How can you revisit them when the road gets tough?
When you face rejection or silence, what is your immediate reaction? How might you shift your perspective?
How can you compartmentalize your creative sessions to avoid the trap of comparison?
How can you see your creative process as an act of worship, even in moments of frustration or doubt?
What would it look like to trust God more fully with your creative journey?
What I’m Speaking
I’ve had the privilege of being a guest on a couple of podcasts recently:
🎙 A Cup of Gratitude – I shared about God’s faithfulness through the twists and turns of my life and how creativity, gratitude, and redemption have been foundational themes in my journey.
🎙 Rise Up and Roar – A conversation about journaling for spiritual growth and transformation. I got super practical here as we talked about what this process of identifying, refuting, and replacing lies looks like so we can walk in freedom.
What I’m Writing
The #the100dayproject and #thequestincolor have been incredibly helpful as I visualize one of the scenes in my book. Watching the layers and progression of the picture come to life reminds me of the writing process itself—each step revealing more depth as I journey deeper into my character’s story.
If you want to follow along as I paint a scene or symbol to represent a different part of my WIP (middle grade fantasy), I’m posting daily over on Substack notes and sharing how my art is shaping my story!
What I’m Reading
📖 The Anxious Generation – Wow. This book was every bit as eye-opening as I expected! My biggest takeaway? Let my kids play, explore, and just be kids for as long as they can. #DiscoveryMode and #PlaybasedChildhood all the way!
📖 Still making my way through Being Fully Known and loving the gems of encouragement and wisdom that remind us where our true worth comes from. Here’s a short quote that’s blowing my mind:
“Identity cannot thrive where trauma dominates.” 🤯
📖 Up next: Peace Beyond Perfection – I’m especially excited for this one because perfectionism has been an unwelcome visitor in my life for way too long!
What I’m Doing
🎤 Leading a live workshop at the 540 Writers Group later this month—I can’t wait to pour into this community!
📍 Planning for my Developmental Editing workshop at the Vision Christian Writers Conference at Mt. Hermon. It’s coming up fast, and I’m eager to refine my message!
📚 Attending the Winter Creativity Summit virtually, hosted by Realm Makers & Allen Arnold diving into the writings of C.S. Lewis, Madeleine L’Engle, and Jesus. Fantasy is a whole new world for me (pun intended!), so I’m excited to soak it all in!
Final Thoughts
Resilience comes when we compartmentalize our creative process and release the pressure to perform. When we stop comparing today’s progress to yesterday’s and instead view our creativity as an offering—an act of worship rather than a measurement of success—we open ourselves up to God’s transformative work. In this space, we can grow with grace, learning to trust that each step, no matter how small, is part of the bigger picture He’s crafting for us.
And most importantly, trust that God is at work, even in the not knowing.
With you in the learning space,
Stephanie
This touches so many areas of my experience, thanks so much for sharing!
You have certainly nailed it here. I have walked this trying journey, and will again. Resilience is a key word. When I wrote to a friend turning 100 this week, I talked to him about his resilience. Has he, and have you, taught me more about this? I think yes, and thank you.